So I'm a wee bit pissed off right now. Sanna's turned on me. And she sided with Deimos to do it. Lovett would be crushed.
She calls me, asks me to meet her. I go, of course. You know what happens? There's a sniper waiting for me. I bite a bullet. two more in the chest. Like that would be enough to stop me. Fuckers didn't know who they were dealing with. Hurt like a bitch, though. And healing isn't my strong suite. Still, they're pretty stupid if they think <i>that</i> would put me down for more than a couple of days.
He thought they killed you.
You know what? I really don't get it. I've been playing by your rules, acting moral, and you still want me dead? Might as well just kill whoever I want. And that's on you, Sanna. Every man, woman and child who dies because of this is your fault.
She calls me, asks me to meet her. I go, of course. You know what happens? There's a sniper waiting for me. I bite a bullet. two more in the chest. Like that would be enough to stop me. Fuckers didn't know who they were dealing with. Hurt like a bitch, though. And healing isn't my strong suite. Still, they're pretty stupid if they think <i>that</i> would put me down for more than a couple of days.
He thought they killed you.
You know what? I really don't get it. I've been playing by your rules, acting moral, and you still want me dead? Might as well just kill whoever I want. And that's on you, Sanna. Every man, woman and child who dies because of this is your fault.
I told you. Loud and clear. But I'll tell you again since it doesn't seem to have sank in.
ReplyDeleteHE TURNED UP AT MY SAFEHOUSE, UNINVITED, and threatened to MASSACRE MY WORKPLACE IF I DID NOT PHONE YOU.
Are you even fucking heeding my words? What I'm saying here?
HE WOULD HAVE MASSACRED. THE. FUCKING. BAR.
There are MANY TIMES the dozen people you wanted to save in that place. EVEN MORE ON A BUSY NIGHT.
The choice was this: have blood on your hands, or have even more blood on your hands.
I'm not proud. I don't think anything I did was right. But fuck, if you hold me more responsible than DEIMOS HIMSELF, I don't even know what to tell you.
What makes you think I give a shit about the people at that shitty bar?
DeleteAnd what makes you think it's a dozen?
I give a shit about them. I talk to them, listen to their problems and laughter and tears. I tell off the underage drinkers and give them Pepsi. It's my job to give a shit.
DeleteYou said to me on the comments of your post entitled 'Deimos', and I quote, "A few runners', maybe half a dozen. Mine. Two Oathbreakers', but nobody gives a shit about them. Possibly more if this isn't stopped."
You expect me to remember every convenient lie I tell?
DeleteYou expect me to make choices based on information you never gave me?
DeleteLet's look at what you did know. There was a threat to the people at the bar, and you decided it was reasonable to sacrifice me for them. That about right?
DeleteAre you actually suggesting that I should only take Deimos's threats seriously when the entrails of customers are dripping off the counter?
DeleteI'm saying that you got me shot. You would've been happy to get me killed. You think I'm gonna let that slide?
DeleteI wasn't happy about it. Strictly speaking, I cried a lot after Deimos left. Despite being thrilled that he was gone.
DeleteBut yeah, I get why you'll let him run his course and not give a shit.
He'll get what's owed. But I expected it of him. You betrayed me.
DeleteMmm hmm.
DeleteWait. Back the fuck up. You're especially angry with me simply because you didn't expect it?
DeleteDon't trust a hoe....
ReplyDeleteDon't bring gardening equipment into this
DeleteExactly. It's spelt whore.
DeleteNo I'm not. You both need to shut up.
DeletePeople paid to shag you, didn't they?
DeleteFUCK OFF. Just shut the fuck up. That was never my choice. Fuck you.
DeleteWrong. It was you getting fucked, remember?
DeleteI SAID SHUT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK UP.
DeleteYou did, didn't you? :)
DeleteI never have to go back there. Shut up.
DeleteWrong again. You'll go back. You can't help yourself.
DeleteS
What the fuck? No. I'm not going back to Moldova.
DeleteWho mentioned Moldova? I'm talking about that state of mind, that helplessness. Do you still have those nightmares?
DeleteShut up. Shut up. Shut up. It's not going to happen ever again. So shut up. Because it's not happening ever again ever.
DeleteAnd what makes you think you have a say? Nobody cared what you said in Moldova, did they?
DeleteFuck off. I don't need this shit right now.
DeleteAre you so afraid of your own memories?
DeleteI am not telling you Jack shit about my memories. Not if you're going to fucking insult me with them and probe for more information.
DeleteYou think I need to probe you for information? I already have a source. Lovett.
DeleteO
Then don't ask questions if you know the answer to them.
DeleteYou're scared of your memories. They remind you of how you weren't strong enough.
DeleteThat's a very simplistic theory.
DeleteTo be raped once is bad luck. Twice means there's probably something more. Is it weakness? Or is it because you're fucked up, and surround yourself with fucked up people.
DeleteOh come the fuck on.
DeleteI'd never say to you, "To be shot once is bad luck. Twice means there's probably something more. Is it weakness? Or is it because you're fucked up, and surround yourself with fucked up people."
We're all in a fucking hostile environment, in case you had not fucking noticed.
But sure. Blame it on me. That's what they all did. That's what my dad did. That's what I fucking did.
So you're taking the role of Maddie in this little comparison?
DeleteR
I meant, blame rape on me if you want to. It's no different to what they did, to what my father told me. What you've just told me.
DeleteYou can blame me for you being shot. I'll take responsibility for that one. I'll take responsibility for it all.
You should've fought harder.
DeleteR
Mmm hmm. Heard that one.
DeleteDoesn't make it wrong.
DeleteI'd like to point out that you weren't there. You're making assumptions. You'll make up any shit just to make it my fault. It's fucking sad, you know that?
DeleteLovett's thoughts, not mine.
DeleteHe wasn't there either. I couldn't give a fuck who thinks what. You're the one regurgitating this shit.
DeleteYou're right, I wasn't there. I'll be sure not to miss the next time.
Deletewhat are you saying???!
DeleteIt's gonna happen again. Maybe this time I won't haul your arse out of the fire.
DeleteHow do you know? You got balls of crystal? No? Then shut the fuck up.
DeleteYou're a runner, working for Deimos, with Kyrylo after you. Why would I need crystal balls to see the obvious?
DeleteWhatever. I wasn't working for Deimos, and I left my safehouse so he won't find me.
DeleteYou still work at the same bar?
DeleteI'll be extra careful this time.
DeleteYou're fucked.
DeleteFrankly, I'm more wary of you. Deimos hasn't made a deliberate attempt to bring up horrible memories yet.
DeleteGetting shot in the face makes me somewhat tetchy, you stupid cunt.
DeleteI'm aware.
Delete