Phil the friendly proxy's 7 step programme for identifying a psychopath


 Hello, and welcome to the first (and probably only)  installment to Phil the Friendly Proxy's guides. Today, we will be examining the proper identification of psychopaths.
And the first question to ask is: 'What is a Psychopath?'. Psychopathy is generally identified and diagnosed by something known as 'Hare's Scale', named for Dr. Robert Hare.This test identifies social and emotional features of psychopathy, and for each feature the patient will be awarded 0-2 points. 40 points is an archetypal psychopath, while anything above 30 is enough for a diagnosis of psychopathy. These features include being extremely glib, a grandiose sense of self-importance, pathological compulsions towards lying and a lack of realistic long-term plans, to name but a few. It's also worth noting that a psychopath will rarely admit to being a psychopath. This links to the key features of a psychopath. Enjoying causing pain in others leads to the potential psychopath lying or omitting the truth, not for any personal gain, but instead to cause pain in others.
Now to use this test on two people, one known to be a psychopath, and one known not to, to see how it faces up.

  • Glibness/superficial charm- 1
  • Grandiose sense of self-worth- 2
  • Pathological lying- 1
  • Cunning/manipulative- 2
  • Lack of remorse or guilt- 2
  • Shallow affect- 2
  • Callousness; lack of empathy- 2
  • Failure to accept responsibility for his own actions- 1
  • Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom- 1
  • Parasitic lifestyle- 1
  • Poor behavioral control- 2
  • Lack of realistic long-term goals- 1
  • Impulsivity- 2
  • Irresponsibility- 2
  • Juvenile delinquency- 2
  • Early behavior problems- 2
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior-2
  • Many short-term relationships- 2
  • Criminal versatility- 2
    Total- 33, with some factors removed due to lack of information.
  • Glibness/superficial charm- 0
  • Grandiose sense of self-worth- 0
  • Pathological lying- 0
  • Cunning/manipulative- 0
  • Lack of remorse or guilt-0
  • Shallow affect-0
  • Callousness; lack of empathy-0
  • Failure to accept responsibility for her own actions-0
  • Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom- 0
  • Parasitic lifestyle- 1
  • Poor behavioral control- 1
  • Lack of realistic long-term goals- 1
  • Impulsivity-0
  • Irresponsibility-1
  • Juvenile delinquency-0
  • Early behavior problems- 0
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior-0
  • Many short-term relationships-0
  • Criminal versatility-0

So, as can clearly be se

*EDIT*- You'll have to excuse this being unfinished, Snowblind dropped in, and I'll be busy burying the body. If I remember I'll finish it later.


  1. Might I suggest burning as I find you can never be too careful(even as a proxy), and also the irony is great to resist.

  2. Another test for a psychopath is one where I hold my arm up and see if they stick to me.

    1. Sanna dear, everyone sticks with you. It's just that the patches are the loudest.

    2. It's just that the psychos are the loudest. Autocorrect.

    3. Who was the second test? It says 'her'. You might want to run the test by a male in his late twenties, to sort of keep it fair.

    4. I would if I knew one. Hey Kyle, how old are you?

    5. Sorry, only 19. Should have just finished my first year of collage if shit didn't happen.

    6. Sorry about that Kyle, I mean about the not being able to go to college thing.

      Meh, there's probably not much difference between male / female minds at the end of the day. Regardless of what shitty romcoms would have us think.

    7. There is a difference, female are much more stronger mentally-wise, than men.

      A painful fact most men have hard time admitting, I have no idea why.

    8. Because traditionally females are seen as weaker, that's why they might have a hard time agreeing with you.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Look at you, pretending to be a psychologist, one question though, who is a psychologist? What do they do? Do you know what they do? And don't tell me that you don't try to seem like a psychologist here, if you're trying to deduce who someone is, obviously you are performing psychoanalysis, which means you do picture yourself as a psychologist.

    Anyways, know what they do? They convince you that their opinion is correct, in other words, they manipulate.

    All the psychologists use one simple tactic on their patients, stupid psychologists, right off the hook say out their opinion to the patient, they tell him how he should act and all that other shiz, and the patient follows, because he is convinced that he is mentally ill.

    Smarter Psychologists are much more sneakier, they don't say out their opinion, instead they ask questions, questions that make people think, but those questions are as manipulative, as the answers are, a good psychologist always knows what the answer will be before-hand, thus thinking of another question, to further the thinking process of the patient, in the direction they want. At the end of the day, it may seem like the patient has made his own answers, but in reality, it was all per-determined.

    Same scenario here with you, you say that I'm insane, that I'm a psychopath, and that is your opinion, but you don't keep it shut, no, you spread it. Trying to convince other people and me, that I am a psychopath, proof of the fact that you are trying to convince me is this post, and the countless comments you had left saying that I'm a psychopath.

    While in reality, you don't know diddly squat, because the only person who knows me, is myself and nobody else. You say that I'm insane, because I act differently than you, or maybe because you don't act the same way I do. That is the only thing you're basing it off of.

    Now you may turn this whole thing around on me and say "But what about your own psychological analysis?" what about them? I never said they were correct, I always said they were assumptions and I never tried to convince anyone of them being correct. Look at JP's analysis for example, that was a complete miss on my part. Or Minxie's Analysis, I said that she would break down once she would kill someone, complete miss again.

    And thus that brings us to your psychological problem, why do you try to convince so many people of something you shouldn't even care about? Do you want attention? Could it be your parents didn't give you enough attention? Your friend who ignored you? The whole world that ignored you? The feeling of Father's/Mother's disapproval? Doesn't matter, you're going to deny it anyways, so why am I wasting my time guessing?

    I can tell you now, that chart of yours, is a complete hit and miss, because you gave all of those a rating, when in reality that most of those lines are supposed to be zeros.

    1. I'm going to do it this way, because I don't think a number is gonna tell anyone shit:

      Glibness/superficial charm- Charm is not superficial.

      Grandiose sense of self-worth- Nothing out of the ordinary for a human being

      Pathological lying- "Simply withholds information"

      Cunning/manipulative- Quite.

      Lack of remorse or guilt- yes.

      Shallow affect- Not at all, TBH.

      Callousness; lack of empathy- Empathetic in the *literal* sense, perhaps.

      Failure to accept responsibility for his own actions- Is rarely ashamed of his actions, gladly accepts responsibility, even "takes credit".

      Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom- Deffo.

      Parasitic lifestyle- somewhat self-dependent.

      Poor behavioral control- Can control behavior. Mostly chooses not to.

      Lack of realistic long-term goals- I dunno, his is destruction and he's doing a god damn good job of it.

      Impulsivity- is capable of improvisation and planning beforehand. So no comment.

      Irresponsibility- Again, takes credit for everything.

      Juvenile delinquency- hell yes.

      Early behavior problems- hell yes.

      Promiscuous sexual behavior- no, unless you count necrophilia, which I'm not because for you it seems to count as wanking.

      Many short-term relationships- no, relationships are long term.

      Criminal versatility- necrophilia, murder, arson, assault, theft. So yah.

    2. Fuck that. Fuck all of thst fuckery. 'whos a psychologist? Noyt Me. On the other hand, robert hare is, and any trained monkey can use his fucking test.what does a psychologist do? psychology. How the fuc did you knt rdallise that?

      As for you, sanna.
      Definitely xuperficia;; afyer all, hes a turturing murdring bastard. can it be chRM when its only for his own ends? yes. but its superfucial.
      grandiose sense of self worth? that ten stepds ahead bullshit. THAT is not normal. It tsnt normal to think that yiure so fucking far ahead of the entitre fucking human race that you cant be called a fucking psycho because yiure too fucking far ahead for that.
      pathological lying. lies for own amusement.wouldbve thoufht youd fucking notice that bit.
      shallow affect. genuine emotion sdhort lived and egoocentric. fuck po the yess.
      callous. no fucking idea what youre thinking when you split hares with thst 'literal' shit. say what uou mean dont mince wors.
      failes to accept respobsibility. for the fucking consequiences. long term. he doesnt give 2 shiutd
      parasite. takes supplies from others as well as killing them. fucker.
      control behaviour. choosingnoy to? means jack shit. no control, dont give a shit about wether or ot he 'chooses' lack of control.

      realistic longterm goals. nein. his goalis destrucyion. destruvition isbnt a state complete in irseld. it's a trsansition. fre burns, but cant contnie forever. cant have destruction- is a merans to an end. and he doesnt want the world destroyed. be boring.

      im[ulsive. persobnal opinion, seems to do rthings without regard long term vosequences.

      promiscuous. fucking yes, fucks any corpse with oe without cunt. shows lack of commitment, sees people as nothing but victims/fucktoys.

      short term relationships- see above.

    3. It's just your typing is looking a little lacklustre, and when that happens to me it's usually cause I'm in pain.

    4. Judging by the amount of "Fucks" seems I hit pretty close to home with that "Looking for daddy's approval" part. Also, you're writing style, made it hell for me to read this out.

      Ten steps ahead thing? Pfft not even near implying that I am better than anyone, there are people who are 20 steps ahead, 30, 40 and so on... Besides, everyone can be ten steps ahead, tis not egoism, tis fact, Egoism is something completely different.

      And if anyone is egotistic, it is indeed you.

      Proof of that? Again, you are 100% sure that I am insane, yet again, you can not be, because you don't know me, all those facts you listed about me, you talk in them about me, as if you knew me for the past couple of years, which is not true. I understand if this was all an assumption, or simply your opinion, but you are hell bent for some reason, trying to prove that I'm insane, and you base all of that, because I simply act out of the norm.

      You can't admit that you are wrong, no, your intelligence is put into question and you can not admit that you are wrong, not even to yourself.

    5. writings bad because left handed. fucks are because of why i write lefthanded. snofabitch broke my right habd. doesnt seem to get asking politely. tbh didnt read your first post kelly. is it really gonna be worth my time?

    6. Also, you think I don't want the world to be destroyed? Another proof of the fact that you don't even know me, the world being destroyed, amazing, it wouldn't be boring, because I wouldn't be alive.

      I never said I wanted the world to be destroyed, because I won't destroy it, that's impossible for one man, thus why I never mentioned that I want the world to be destroyed, I can't reach that goal.

      But I want it, it would be so beautiful.

    7. ""callous. no fucking idea what youre thinking when you split hares with thst 'literal' shit. say what uou mean dont mince wors.""

      Empathy: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another." That was one fucking Google away, before you piss on my parade. Empathy and callousness are not mutually exclusive. He has showed that ability, to understand and share feelings. Does it make him a good person? Does it stop him from killing? No and no, and it doesn't have to.

    8. Shit Kelevra, did you break his hand to find out where I was???

      NO! Dude, just fucking ask and I'll tell you where I am!!!

    9. Seriously Kelevra, if you hurt pHIL again I'll rupture your bandaged asshole with the business end of a RAKE!!!

    10. Dont worry ive alreaddy got a plan for revenge.

    11. Oh god please don't. Pleese.

      Kelevra please don't kill him, I'll do anything, just don't kill him.

    12. You really fucking dont want to be indebted to that guy. not worth it. besides, even if pln fails i'll be safe

    13. What's the worst he could ask for? Not much, honestly, I'll be happy to clean up dead bodies for a week if it means you don't get killed.

    14. 'whats theworst he could ask for?' doyou really want to know? besides, ui'm on the path. i intend to have revenge by cotrespondance.

    15. Worst he can ask for is cleaning up his fucked corpses, like I said I'll do that if it'll save your ass.

    16. my arse doesn't need saving. if i couldn't escape whenever I felt like it, i would be dead. it was a meeting of several of us, andd half of them werent good with the path. needed a minute to get there. so i gave them a minute, then buggered off.
      dont do something stupid out of worry fot me. because most likely itll end with someone dying.